Being dead sucks, because when you're dead, you can't:

 

Ride a bike    Fly a kite
Play catch    Pet a kitten    Smell perfume
Make love    Listen to music    Ask for directions
Lick a popsicle    Read a magazine    Go for a walk    Sleep late
Sauté onions in butter    Climb a tree    Fantasize    Protest injustice
Work for peace    Hug your best friend    Kiss your lover on the neck
Throw a Frisbee    Tie your shoes    Comb your hair    Brush your teeth
Get angry    Feed a baby    Philosophize    Play Scrabble with your kid
Flirt    Shiver in the cold    Sweat in the heat    Swim in the ocean
Look at a starfish    Lay in the grass    Eat a hot pepper    Sing
Read to a child    Make plans    Ride a horse    Watch a movie
Telephone your mom    Ride a train    Hear an echo
Help someone    Yell really loud
Whisper    Laugh
 

What other things can't be done when you're dead? Tell me!

 When you're dead, you can't kill yourself. — Bryan Chiu

 

What can a dead person do?

Be frozen

Be incinerated

Be mummified

Be composted

Slowly decompose

Stink

That's it. That's all you can do. That's why being dead really sucks. Given the choice—and I fervently hope I am—I would prefer to keep living for as long as possible.